Monday, July 21, 2008

What's with Boys?

Is it really the difference in gender or is it personality? My son refuses to sleep, and therefore is a complete emotional wreck throughout most of the day. He throws tantrum after tantrum.

We are starting week 3 of converting 2 naps to 1. This all started because Ryan refused to take a second nap. I was keeping him up in the morning and then he was ready for a nap right after lunch. The girls had just woken up so they weren't tired yet. Then when they were tired, Ryan was asleep and I didn't want to wake him by putting the girls to bed. So I started keeping them all up and putting them all to bed after lunch.

So by now they should be taking a nice long nap after lunch, right? So they can recharge. So I can recharge...and have a break from the constant crying and fighting. This is when I either rest myself (because I didn't sleep the night before) or I get some things done that have been waiting all morning. Child free.

So what am I supposed to do when Ryan wakes up after almost an hour, screaming his head off? He also does this during the night lately. I have been giving him Tylenol and sometimes Mortin beforehand, and it doesn't seem to make a difference. I don't know if it's his teeth or what?

All I know is that he has been like this from day one. He was always needing to be comforted whether it was with a pacifier, a blanket, a stuffed animal, or daddy to rub his back. Sometimes when I put him to bed he will start screaming and jumping in his crib even though he is completely exhausted. If I give him a different stuffed animal, that he hasn't already had in his crib, he will take it and lay down and go to sleep.

If he was a singleton, with his own room, I would assume he needs to learn to comfort himself, and let him cry. Unfortunately, he shares a room with his 2 sisters that like to sleep. If I had an extra bedroom I'd move him out but Ashlyn is already in the hallway. Even if I put her in their room and him in the hallway, his crying would still wake everyone up.

Does anyone have any advice? Am I missing something? I want so badly to like my son. I still love him very much, but right now, I do not like him very often.

Update ~ He was actually pretty good this afternoon once he got the screaming out of his system. He can be really adorable when he wants to. I think he sensed that I was almost at my breaking point and didn't want to push it. I feel really bad once things settle down and wish I were a better mom. I wish I were a little calmer in situations like this. Maybe he just really needs his mommy.

5 comments:

Dorinda said...

Hey Girl,

I'm sorry he's giving you such a hard time. The only encouragement I have is to stick with it no matter what. I KNOW how hard it is. Alyssa would scream during her second nap for weeks. Just scream for an hour at times - it was awful but it didn't matter. Nap time was nap time was nap time. Period. End of story. End of discussion. After a few weeks she got over it and moved on. Now she still needs less sleep but she is quiet during nap time. Excpet if something changes like the trip - took her a few days to adjust.

Can you put a pack n play in your bedroom? Any way that you could seperate him would be helpful even if the girls can hear him through the walls - they are surprisingly immune.

If it makes you feel better go in and comfort him but make sure he knows when nap time is. You decide when it starts and ends and treat him accordingly.

That's my two cents but I've never had a nap or night time issue except when Alyssa screamed a lot but I just stuck with it and she got over it. We are, however, truly blessed to be able to seperate them during naps. At night they're together but if someone wakes up we move them to the basement :) Doesn't happen often though. I think they've learned mommy needs sleep and quiet time so they have to deal!!

Just blog or e-mail me: dorindanelson@comcast.net if you need to vent - it helps...

Ms. Perky said...

I wish I had better advice for you, but my kids aren't at a stage yet where they really wake each other up. I was going to suggest putting him in a pack n' play in your bedroom for naps, but Dorinda already suggested that.

Other than that, all I can do is offer you support from afar.

Cadi + 4 said...

Our bedroom is too tiny for a pack and play. We tried that. In our old house we had room to seperate them for naps but here we don't. Unless we move Ryan out to the barn. Tempting....but I'm afraid SS would be knocking on my door. Dorinda, it sounds funny to say that you put them in the basement because our's in unfinished and discusting. Thanks for the encouragement girls.

This too shall pass, right?

Cadi

MaryBeth said...

Sarah is my more demanding child, and she is also the one who gets over tired the easiest. The other two will sleep if they are tired no matter what, but Sarah can sometimes reach a point where she is literally too tired to sleep. If, after battling her for a couple of days, I determine that is happening, I try to put her down well before I think she is tired... even if it means not getting my alone time during the day b/c she is sleeping differnt times than the others. Usually with an earlier opportunity to sleep she will get caught up in a matter of a day and things rock on as usual afterward.
This probably doesn't make any sense, but if you want further explaination I'll wait until tomorrow when I can be more logical... bedtime!

MaryBeth said...

Just saw your comment on my blog... we ate a ton of blueberries that day, and afterward I froze the rest.... 6 quart size freezer bags full. The girls like to pretend they are mini popsicles! ha, ha