Brooke Elisa.

She is baby C of course. She was on my right side with her butt under my ribs. Every ultrasound for the last few months she had her face buried in my hip. She has been making up for all she missed, ever since.

She was the longest to stay in the hospital because she was the slowest to take to eating. She still is the least interested in eating so I don't think she really needed the extra week. I think the only reason I let her stay that long was because I was dead tired.

I haven't forgiven them for almost letting her die. I have a lot of respect and appreciation for the hospital where my babies were born, but there was one morning in particular that still haunts me. I had been holding Brooke while she was receiving her tube feeding. It was almost done and Lance and I wanted to go up and shower before visitors started coming. The nurse said I could lay her down on her side she would check on her in a few minutes. I went to see Gaby and Ryan (they were in a room next to Brooke) and give them a quick kiss. The nurse that morning was from the Pediatric dept and just filling in from the night shift. She was busy trying to move Ryan from his Bili bed to a regular crib before the next shift came in.

Thinking of this moment still gives me the chills. Lance and I stopped one more time to check on Brooke before going up. Even though the room was dark, I could tell that something wasn't right. Her skin tone looked extremely dark. I walked up to the crib and touched her. She didn't move.

Meanwhile the alarms are all going off (which happens quite often in the NICU and usually means a lead is off somewhere so you kind of get used to it not being important) and where was the nurse? They are trained to always come running, just in case. After all, these babies are in critical care!! I sent Lance to look for her and I was jiggling her and calling her name. Even though I am a nurse, I was so paralyzed by fear at seeing my own baby in this condition that I didn't have a clue what to do.

God was there.

Lance found the nurse, going down the hall away from our baby with all the alarms going off. She came in and thumped her on the back which made her cough up a bunch of formula. Then she suctioned her with a bulb syringe. She had a ton of it up her nose and in her mouth. THEN other nurses started coming in. Our nurse turned to one and said, and I quote "this one was very naughty, she was a close as she could get, she was just black". That's something every mother wants to hear.

We made lots of complaints that day to every staff member that would listen and that nurse never touched any of our babies again. The only thing I can thank God for was the fact that when she did come, she did exactly what needed to be done. Review of the monitor said either she didn't have a pulse, or wasn't breathing, for 60 seconds. I can't remember which, it all happened so fast and I was exhausted.

That was a very traumatic day for me. I cried a lot, worried that she would have brain damage. I should have known Brooke was stronger than that. After I showered I went back to see her. I picked her up and settled into a chair. She immediately looked right at me and half smiled and made a coo sound.

17 months later, she is doing this. These are clean, by the way.






Maybe potty training is around the corner. She weighs about 20 lbs, soaking wet. She is a tiny thing and when you pick her up you feel like you could snap her arms right off. I was concerned about her size but she continues to thrive. She has been the 1st one to reach every milestone. It won't be long and I'll have to peel her off the ceiling. She is very smart also. I've noticed that she understands most of what I tell her. The fact that she tends to ignore me is beside the point. What would I do without this sweet little face.

More of Ashlyn's photography. She's getting better. If we look really tired in these photos its because we are. 3 teething babies is so much fun.Brooke's name means sophisticated which I think fits her. She does have a silly side too, though. Her middle name was Lance's Grandma's middle name.

She is a thumb sucker which I hope doesn't cause her problems later on. Ashlyn would have been one but we were diligent about replacing her thumb with a binky. With Brooke we were too tired to notice she was even sucking her thumb until she was past the point of preventing it. We were just glad she was quiet. She is very independent but also loves to come and cuddle when she needs some quality time. To some people, Brooke acts very shy (or screams bloody murder) such as with my sister and sister-in-law, much to their dismay. It usually seems to be very normal looking people. Then when she sees someone like my dad, who has a scruffy beard and is much bigger than she is (not saying your not normal looking, dad) she runs right to him with open arms.

She also loved my brother when he visited from Texas (once again, not that there is anything wrong with your appearance) who shaves his head and also has facial hair of some sort. Does that mean she will be attracted to bad boys? She seems to like danger. I can feel the gray hairs popping up as I type.

I have to add that the other nurses at our hospital took exceptional care of our babies. Especially you, Mindy. Mindy had the most contact with our babies and we still keep in touch with her. She now has a baby of her very own named Denver, and you can read all about him here.