A few of my favorite photos.

Ashlyn eating one of her favorites. "Chwaket cake". Gabriella wearing a pretty sundress on the one warm day we had this past week.Ryan with his buddy, Mason Rondeau. He is the son of Sam and Jen. They are good friends of ours that live in Shakopee, MN. Mason was born at the end of December.

A quiet moment with Brooke. If only I had more days like this.

Red, White, and Blue.

I would like to dedicate this to all the veterans and active service men and women of our country. Especially to my brother, Cory, who is my hero. Thank you for making our country what it is today. Without your dedication, and hard work, who knows what we would be facing each day. Your an inspiration to those of us who've only seen war on our television screens. You are in my heart and on my mind today. God bless you!!

Ah, sleep.........it's a beautiful thing.

It's surprising how much difference a little sleep can make. Last night I had the first solid night of sleep I've had in a long time. I feel so great that I feel like dancing.

I actually exercised this morning, which I haven't done in weeks. Getting dressed in the morning has been the extent of my daily workout lately. To be honest I haven't even done that very much lately(thank you to whomever decided pajama pants and fluffy slippers can be stylish). I have been struggling with sleep for many years now and since having children it has gotten worse. When my body says "ok, it's time to go to bed" my brain says "wait, there is so much to think about, worry about, ponder, question, debate, explore, and plan". Though I have used this time to my advantage a few times it's mostly a hindrance to my well being. If you've ever noticed me behaving a bit strange( more so than usual) it can probably be attributed to lack of sleep.

This past, glorious, night of sleep can be attributed to many things. My kids are almost over their colds so they're sleeping better, Lance has been helping out more often lately(refer to post below, if you haven't already), and drugs. Yes, Tom Cruise, sometimes drugs can be good. Speaking as a health professional, sometimes drugs are very good.I won't disclose what these particular medications are(unless the drug companies decided to send a couple of bucks my way for promoting their product) but I will assure you that they are prescription and I am being monitored by my doctor. I realize that meds will not solve everyones problems and that they are not a cure all. Normally, I hate taking medications, but sometimes they are needed and I hope I feel this good tomorrow.

I have been a bit stressed lately, what with having 4 children, 2 and under. It hasn't been easy. After wanting to be a mom for my whole life and my dreams finally coming true, all at once, there is a lot of work involved. There is also a lot of worrying. I should be enjoying every minute of this. I have always loved babies and I now I have 4 of them. Plus they are adorable and their smiles make me melt. There have been times when I have thought my life couldn't get any better. But there have also been times when I could have walked out the door and not looked back, for at least a couple of hours.

For now I feel good and I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts. Until the next wave of stress and anxiety hits me. I'm sure every person who reads this can relate in some way. I hope you can find peace, as well. Even for a moment.

An Ode to My Husband.

With Father's Day just around the corner, I'd like to take this time to appreciate the father of my children. He may not be a perfect man but then again, who is? The man that he is, can best be defined as hardworking, honest(most of the time), loyal, a wonderful playmate(for the kids that is), funny(at least I think so), trustworthy(the only person I know that will not tell a soul if I confide in him), dependable(the first person I call when I need help), silly(oh, the stories I could tell), cheerful(not many people love to laugh as much as he does), devoted(any of his family and friends can tell you about some way that he has helped them out and that they can always count on him), and the list could go on and on.

This is the man that gave me reason to get up every morning, for the 8 years that we struggled with infertility. He drove me to 3 different states for countless appointments, gave me hundreds of injections(he may have enjoyed that part), let me cry on his shoulder when times where the roughest, and didn't give up when we thought there was no hope.

He held my hand through the delivery of all 4 of our children. He spent 3 days and 3 nights, pushing with his fist as hard as he could on the small of my back, during back labor with Ashlyn. He cooked and cleaned for me, while working full time, during my bedrest with the triplets. He watched over our tiny newborn babies in the NICU when I was too exhausted to get out of bed after the delivery.

He has taught Ashlyn some of really important things. Things like sitting back and enjoying the view.

Snow is cold but it's also fun.
That shampoo can be more than just a cleaning product.
That a deer head can make a good wall ornament(in your basement, that is).

That it's not the size of fish you caught that matters, but how much fun you had catching it.He is the parent that teaches the kids that life isn't always scary. That fun can be found in the simplest things. He is the Ying to my Yang. I've heard that people are attracted to their opposite because it gives their children balance. If I would say "no, it's too dangerous", he would say "come on, lets run". Though our parenting styles are completely different, we have the same goal. To see our kids grow up happy and healthy.



So thank you Lance for giving me our children and for helping to make them who they are.

What I learned on Mother's Day.

I will be the first one to admit that I am a perfectionist. How can I just come right out and admit that?? Well the first thing you'll notice about a perfectionist is that they, at all times, want to appear perfect. The second thing you'll notice is that they like to brag about it. Today I learned a very valuable lesson which I hope to not forget any time soon.

Today was Mother's Day and it really was a beautiful day. Lance and I decided (ok I decided and he didn't disagree.......very much) a couple of months ago to have the babies baptised on Mother's Day, by the same person who baptised myself and Ashlyn 2 years ago. To make this work we had to get everyone dressed, pack up the van, and drive a half hour to be the church by 10:45 AM.

My perfectionistic self decided that not only could it be done but it could be done, well. Our perfect children would look perfect, as would I and so I set out to find the perfect outfits for the perfect price (meaning cheap). It wasn't easy but I did it. Then to make things easier for the morning of the baptism, I packed the diaper bag, you guessed it, perfectly. I made a list, I checked it twice. Everything we could possibly need to care for 3 infants and a toddler for approximately 2.5 hours (in case the sermon ran long) plus an afternoon at Grandma's house.

At approximately 6:30 am I woke up to feed the first baby and then proceeded to shower, dress, eat, get Ashlyn dressed, fix her hair, fix my hair, change diapers, undress babies, dress babies, strap them into car seats, pack them into the car with Ashlyn, and I think you get the picture. Lance did help a little, ok more than a little. My goal was to leave at 9:30 am. To my surprise we actually did! We made it to the church by 10 am so that we could dress the babies (who were wearing only onsies so that their perfect outfits wouldn't get messy on the way) and to be seated in our pew before the service began.

I took Ryan out of his carseat and started looking for his perfect outfit. Where is it?? I could have cried. All of the perfect outfits were still hanging on the kitchen chair, back at home, where I'd hung them so carefully this morning. At least the babies were all wearing white onsies. So I shrugged and said "Oh well".

The service started and was going well for about 5 minutes. I knew Ashlyn would get bored but I didn't count on her being replaced by psycho-child. She was up, she was down, she was sideways, she whined, she screamed, she talked louder than a whisper, she wanted to go outside, no inside, upstairs, no downstairs. OK so she's 2. I guess I can't expect her to be perfect in church especially when she was hungry, tired, bored, and battling a cold.

After all that I just gave up. I had a meltdown and a half, and then was just too tired to complain anymore about how my perfect day was ruined.

Now it is the end of the day and as I think back, I realize something. Does it really matter that they didn't get to wear their perfect outfits?? No. Does it matter that people saw that my 2 year old isn't perfect?? No. I could even sit and list a few more things that, in my mind, were not perfect enough.

Do you want to know what does matter?? I was lucky enough to carry Gabriella, Ryan, and Brooke to 35 weeks and they are healthy and beautiful. I was given Ashlyn after 8 years of wanting a baby desperately. I am a mom because of them. My babies were all baptised today, which brings them one step closer to knowing the God that I know. My 80 something Grandmother got to see her granddaughter, who shares her middle name, be baptised today. I got to spend time with my mom and mother-in-law, sitting around the kitchen table gossiping over coffee. These are the things that I will remember.

You want to know what I learned today?? If you stress about the small stuff, you miss out on the really big stuff.

But I did dress the babies up in their perfect outfits when we got home and took their picture. That way I can still say "Here you are in the outfits you wore on the day that you were baptised".

"This is SNOT what I signed up for"

Our house can be described as happily chaotic on most days of the week, deliriously joyful on some, and downright disastrous on a few. These past 2 weeks we've seen a few more of those days since our family caught a bug. And I don't mean we're keeping a beetle in a jar with holes in the lid. As you can see from the picture, our sense of humor remains in tact.

I have spent days and nights with a sick baby, while I myself was sick, in the past. Until now I had never spent endless days and endless nights with 4 babies, all of them sick. Wait, since Lance is also sick, make that 5 babies. (Girls, you know what I'm talking about.) I don't even want to discuss all the snot I've extracted in the past 2 weeks. And of course when they have legs to assist them in escape, it's never as simple as gently dabbing at the copious amounts of green goo hanging off of their face. You have to run after them, tackle them, and then while your begging them to "hold still, we're almost done" they start screaming and crying which only increases the amount of snot that has to be wiped. I don't know why but Ashlyn only gets the blowing part right when she doesn't have a tissue under her nose. If you put a tissue up to her face, she won't blow. As soon as she steals a tissue out of the box, when your not looking, she holds it 6 inches from her face and blows snot like she's getting paid for it. But we are on the mend. The bug is almost gone. We actually fared pretty well. Only a few nights of little sleep which is nothing new for an insomniac like me.

During all the dosing of medication we discovered that Brooke has her first tooth. The second is also nearly through. She has been showing it off quite frequently. If she recognizes you and likes you, she will bust out into the cutest little grin. If she doesn't like you, or if you dare approach her with a towel on your head, she will bust out in something other than a grin. Very loudly.

So now that the babies are 6 months (I know, can you believe it?) and since Brooke was trying her hardest to eat every bite of my meal one evening, we started them on solids. We've decided for now it's best to feed them one at a time. I attempted to feed Ryan and Gaby at the same time just once and each one cried every time I gave the other a bite.

Gabriella is showing her sophisticated look. Don't you just want to kiss her??

"OK Dad, I'm ready to go to work!!" "Wait, now where did I leave my pants???"